Everyone's going home (except Bob)


Blah, I slept SOOO long today! We got in at about 5 and i went to bed at 6 after all the drama was settling down and everyone was home. So, I slept until 2 and then dozed thru Passions on NBC. Then I had this delusion that a fat woman in a jean dress walked into my room to get some tissues from my nightstand and then left... So then i figured i should get up.

I had dinner with the grandparents, and i ran into Beth Hamm from high school. The last i knew she was doing missionary work (and not in the sexual way) and not even in the country so the last place i thought I would see her was Izzy's for dinner! So that was cool...

After dinner I totally wasn't going to even leave the hosue or do anything, just sit around on one of the computers and catch up with friends and maybe update my site... But no. First Bob came over, then Kelly, and we watched a cheezy lifetime movie and drank coffee... (yes, bob and i are really old jewish women trapped in little gay bodies!) Then Mary IMed us and suggested we come over, so I got into my parka and we went over there. It was such a blast :) I love Mary sooo much :) We just had basically a random night including bob chasing me down the hall with me wheeling around on marys chair.. why didn't we all meet sooner??? you guys are so way too much fun (wow, what a sentence!) I still can't believe this awful yet wonderful semester is over... or how different i am now as opposed to when it began!

Mary and Kelly are going home tomorrow, so thats it except for Bob. I ran into Chadd at wal-mart tonight and I guess hes staying through the break too and just going home on weekends. I'm just like... shit... you're turning into me. (I haven't moved home since I've been in school... i love living on my own up here...)Plus Ron will be around, so I'm certainly not alone up here. I should totally move to pgh though. I hate the drive! I'm gonna miss everyone a lot but it will be nice to have a little break.

So tomorrow is graduation for Jeremy and Mark, to name a couple of homos I know. Its kinda sad, im gonna miss both of you guys. I'm going to Jeremy's party tomorrow and hopefully Travis will be up and maybe some other familiar faces (Tim?) Oh well... I also have to help grandma with some stuff tomorrow and its already four, so im going to bed :)

Actually scratch that, im going to sleep on the chair because i don't feel like making my bed. Nighty night

Current Music: Jason Robert Brown- All the Wasted Time

Bizarre/ Albequerque

What a night at pegasus!

But before that, there was caroling at the Wolf's Den. I almost killed one of my singers, but other than that, it went really well. People couldn't even really tell that I was nervous, being that it was pretty much one of my first public conducting appearances! The group was made up of six people from madrigal, so we sang a lot of the madrigal dinner songs, and then a bunch of other carols. It was just a fun, informal thing and we all got 25 dollar gift certificates :)

So anyway, I was exhausted after that, but off to pittsburgh we went. I took Kelly, Pat, and Bob. The club itself was fun... There were a lot of old friends and people i've run into before there and that was fun. I had better luck keeping away from scary people this week. Chris and I danced, but he was pretty stoned and/or drunk at hte time, so that wasn't productive at all. Its really kind of sad that I've neve ronce met the boy when he wasn't under the influence of something... Thats what bothers me mroe than the fact that he does stuff like that... So i'm thinking persuing anythign there would be a not-so-good-idea, and Kel and Mary did their best at helping me give him the brush off but the boy would not take the hint... He jsut kept coming back like Joe's crabs. I swear!

I had fun dancing and hanging out wiht Mary and lots of homos :) Trevor came drunk, which was funny/cute at the club, but at EatnPark I knew things were going to get worse when the boy came in. He was totally upset about something/ at someone... Unfortunatley, I had no clue who or what... I really felt bad for him... he was totally intoxicated and pretty upset... Mary was trying to calm him down and that wasn't working so well... So it was EnP, i was around visiting and when i came back, Mary and Kelly were gone, and I still didn't know what exactly Trevor was so upset about... Then Chad (Kitanning Chad) walks in... Trevor jumps up and attempts to lunge at him or something... it was a very very bad scene... Poor trevor... Poor us all, really... it was simply a bizarre evening. In themeantime I pieced the story together that Trevor loves chad, and he heard that him and someone else were messing around on the way from the club in a car... Thats what pissed Trevor off... I don't even know. its nuts. I got to talk a bit to Steven, or should I say Lady Rose and she looked StunninG tonight, as usual! *waves*

The ride home, in contrast, was plain fun! First, I had to pee like none other and in the straightest move i have made thus far this century (the last century being touching a kitty, and kinda enjoying it until she told me i was fingering too far back- and we all know what that means!) I got out on the side of the road and peed. Afte rthat, everyone pretty much fell asleep, so i put in this crazy mix i did freshman year and when we neared Clarion, I brightened Bob's life by introducing him to the most random song ever- Alberquerque by Wierd Al! We HOWLED at the whole song, because its totally the randomness that goes on between us embodied in a song! It was great... I totally recommend downloading it if you can! (its 13 minutes long though...)

Lets have an ode to bob, because its been nine weeks since the Toast Affair (which would be the food I offered him the very first time he entered homo house after choir one fateful day, beginning our crazy friendship that really consists of two old jewish women trapped in little gay bodies!)So, yay bob... or should I say zelda. Btw, you have a weasal on your face! (get the song of the day) Bulah St. James you are a woman of class... Love Gladdys

So Blah, now im home and talking to Bob and Mary... Bizarre is the only word for tonight... it was way better than last week with Joe though, I must say... and overall, it was a good time... Hopefully Trevor is doing better as well. He walked home from EnP to Oakland (a long way) so im hoping that he made it...

My involvement with drama tonight has to be over... and PS i totally have a new crush on a very cute guy i met tonight ... :)

Current Music: Alberquerque by Wierd Al/ I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Rait

Penguin Revelations: TIthis crazy semester comes full circle.

Wow... This has been quite a day. People say my journal entries are depressing and sad, so I'm trying to liven it up a bit!

My LAST BRENT REGISTER FINAL EVER was about 20 hours ago now... I am SO happy. Someday, now that i"m done with his classes, I am totally going to beg him to teach with a sock puppet (For those of you that don't know brent, I SWEAR he is a voice on South Park.

Some days you know are not going to be that important, and others are for the history books. This was one of the latter. The title of todays entry totally sums it up. Penguins due to the way Bob and I walked over to Mary's dorm tonight to cheer her up. Let me introduce you to Mary. She is FAB! Sje is an RA in one of the halls on campus, not to mention just a fun girl to be around. Shes gone with us to Pegs a few times this semester, and I also know her from being around here... I had SO much fun with her and Bob tonight and I can't wait to do it again (new years?) So anyway, we had some fun moments and we also had some real heart to heart ones... It really has been a crazy, crazy semester with some quite interesting characters. Things have changed so much in the last four months... in the last 9 months... its hard to even remember or fathom why some things happened the way they did. I learned the truth about some things tonight, and I think some of my friendships moved on to another level. Things in my mind kind of came full circle- with the end of finals and the beginning of a break from these lovely people i spend my life (figuratively) on top of. I learned tonight that I'm definitely not a slut ;)

I went to EatnPark for lunch after the conducting final with Vag and Ben. That was a good time :) I haven't hung out with either of them so much lately, so it was good to sit back, relax, and enjoy the fact that I am done with school. After EnP with them, I came back and cleaned the apt, went to work, then to IC choir practice. I wasn't expecting a turnout at all for choir due to the weather, so i pretty much cancelled practice but still put in a couple of hours going through music and seeing what I will have to work with when I fully take over the music director position. Jeez, theres a lot! After that, I headed to EnP again, but this time with Sara and various other friends (IE Allison (and her boobs;) ) ), Vince, becky, Billy, Ang, Jeff, Sandy, Luke and other passers by. That was fun, but i never want to see EnP again! There is tension between vag and that group that i don't really want to get into i guess... im just an innocent bystander who looks out for my best friends... so it was fun... and vag came home with me. After she left and Bob came over, we headed for Mary's... The trip (literally) there was VERY comical and if you've been outside in Clarion you know why. It is SOLID ICE. I walked up the little hill by davis... then slid right back down.. with Bob laughing hysterically at me (even though the same thing happened to him earlier... tehe

Anyway, like i said... it was a good night... kinda reflective, and lots of fun.. I feel like my vision is kind of restored, which may sound odd being put like that, but things have been so crazy here lately... i just feel much calmer and ready to deal with things again.

Ok, lets talk about Joe. Joe is a bastard, and I hope he never comes back to clarion. Not only is he a walking veneral disease, he also has hurt several people who are close to me. To cap off tonight, we saw joe on our way out of Mary's dorm. He apparently gets the jest that I don't like him a bit now. He was loading his car when we walked by, and I hope he doesn't come back here.

Some of my other friendships are in wierd places... a few of my friends, I get the impression, are intimidated by me- specifically that I'm gay and not afraid of that fact. I feel bad for them, because I really do care about them... not even in an i-love-you sort of way, but in a i-want-to-be-there-for-you sort of way... Things are a bit more in perspective now I guess, but still...

Generally, I have few regrets and reservations about the semester. There is one... but I learned from it, and its gone now.
So, thats how things are... i hope this was a little less depressing than usual... If i was depressed, maybe im not so much now...

Marys info:
a) he is schnasty b) he keeps messin with my girls (you and robbie and brian) c)no one likes him... and oh yeah d) just becuase my 250 dollar sweater is worth more than what the old men pay for his ass... means didly squat

hehehehe, i couldn't resist... nighty night all
Current Music: Long December- Counting Crows

I love my friends!

So its 12 and i ahve a final in 8 hours that I don't care a bit about. So, its time to write here.

I was making a random away message yesterday during a study break:
A simple truth:
Whenever an ex says "lets be friends" it really means "I hate you and wish you would die." The further they go, the worse it is "Oh, we'll still talk everyday" really means "I'm going to put you on my block list and throw darts at your picture" or "You'll always be special to me" really means "Lets go out for a walk... and maybe I can push you off of an overpass." Seriously, I am much better friends with the ex that actually did tell me to die and then fought with for a couple of months.

Think about it... its true. Just be honest. Wish death on your ex and get on with your life. At least then you'll have a decent roomate.
That was my thought for the night.. I really didn't do much productive. I practiced conducting and browsed personal ads. Why am I so preoccupied with this meeting a boy thing?

Oh well... later...
Amen.

Some of the weight is off of my shoulders

Yay, only three finals to go! Somehow, I'm not really worried. After the four that I have already taken, test anxiety is almost non existent...

Anyway, Milutin's final this morning was about an hour longer than i thought that it would be. It was open book- mostly diagrams and short answer- and I thought it would be a quick snappy exam. Wrong. I was in there until 11:30 and barely had any time until my next final at 12. Grr... Thankfully I think I got As on the first two finals... Brent's was hard, but i definitely got all of the listenings right. My jury was also today... It was well... ok. I always freak out after my jury. This time, i screwed up some words and they had me go back to the beginning of a verse... Hopefully that means i will get my B- like always. I have one more final today and all that will be is turning in all of my papers from the semester and then listening to some presentations- so that should be a grand time!

So, what did I do with all my time before this school stuff started anyway? One more day and everything is done... except the reception at the Wolf's Den on thursday n ight, all of my commitments are over for the school :) Speaking of, Brad told me this morning that he couldn't make it to that. Please god lets not make that a trend with all of the singers! Luckily i think I can get Ardan to do it, and although not as experienced as Brad, it should all work out just fine (i hope)

I had some nice conversations with friends last night s/a Todd and Josh... I can't wait to spend more time with friends :)

Anyway, Its time for some more work and studying for the last two finals tomorrow... blah... more later!

Where did this semester go?

Wow, what a weekend... I'm operating on way less sleep then I need right now. I would be in bed, but I drank too much coffee at EatnPark with Kenny, Brendan, Ryan, and Kelly. This semester has flown so fast and with so much work, I feel like I've barely gotten to spend any time with them. At least time that I wasn't worried about something else or other.... The same for my other friends who I don't have classes or projects with... I've like totally blown a lot of them off... or in most cases, we've blown eachother off... I hope I can make up for that next semester, because I miss a lot of them!

Oh well... this weekend we had an overnighter with our REP students at the movie theaters.... Thats always fun! I'm glad that Brendan and I have a good class this year (unlike Ryan's class) and we didn't really have any problems. Not, however, that we would have known if we had, considering that Bren and I slept in one of the empty theaters for a lot of the night! I honestly don't remember coming back to the apartment, but i did curl up in bed and sleep until like 1! So much for studying on Sunday...

I can't wait for break... I need it both physically and emotionally. I need to be antisocial and have nothing to worry about for about a week, and i think i'll be fine. I'm just frustrated with a lot of things and this semester needs to be over. I've been rather frazzled as of late, especially as far as dating goes and i have just now kind of put my finger on it. This will be my first Christmas single in the past few years... and thats totally wierd. I mean, Brendan and I broke up forever ago now, but when i think back to all of my christmas breaks before since freshman year, he was part of them. And he isn't this year... and he will be doing the same things with someone else.
*sigh* its not that i still think of him like that... Its more that SOMEONE should be filling that void for me. Maybe i'm crazy to still think about that past that ended way back in February, but i think it has a lot to do with my emotional state as of late... I really need to get over that... And I am sure that I will, especially after this christmas, which, as it looks now, I will be spending single.

Blah, I have four finals tomorrow and should NOT be having an emotional moment. I should be learning the words to the Italian song for my jury, the parts of the larynx (which, incidentally, looks a lot like a vagina... i wonder if he would be mad if i labeled the labia lips?) a bunch of songs for 20th century that I don't care about, and revisions on a paper which, again, i don't care about. I reached the breaking point about a week ago with schoolwork, and its just not happening.

Well, its time to get away from this computer (and probably go to the other one....) more tomorrow, and maybe not me whining for a change :)
night