i don't think...

that I'm making this up...something is definitely different. Some feeling isn't the way it should be. It troubles me but what do I do about it?

multi-tasking

Is a word we take for granted, but it was actually only coined in the mid-1960's. Then, it was strictly a computer term meaning: The concurrent operation by one central processing unit of two or more processes. (dictionary.com) However, it was found to be used more and more as computers became more and more prevalent. Apparently just 20 years ago, it wasn't considered normal to talk to 20 friends at once, check your mail, look up information on a project, get a weather report, and browse the photos you took on vacation last weekend all in the span of the same 10 minutes. In fact, people used to do.... wait... one thing at a time!
I mean, don't get me wrong. The computer age has increased productivity thousands of times over, and helps people every day (like yours truly) procrastinate to the last minute and still come up with professional looking projects for my bachelors degree.
However, its kind of a shame in a way. It used to be that to talk to a friend you had to give them your undivided attention. If you had a project to do, you did it... without distraction... until it was finished. It probably prevented brains from going in 25 directions at once... Music is the only thing that I can safely say I don't multitask during... practice is practice... but if my cell phone rings, i generally answer. Or if im with a friend, and my IM goes off... i answer it... and check my mail, and the weather... and a host of other things... and they all do the same.
Its the paradox of technology. The world moves much faster than we were designed to. Sometime it would be nice to give up multitasking... maybe we can pretend its 1955...

Thanksgiving

Holidays are always intresting for me... I usually have a great time visiting with relatives and this year was no exception.
I really started early on Tuesday by going to Pittsburgh to see Emilee and Aimee (cousins) and also my friend Andrea (it had been forever... and she is HOT... mmm) Anyway, we kareoked, Emilee got pretty trashed (it was her birfday) and I would up driving from Oakland to Southside kinda typsy with 5 other people in the car... so that was a trip. One of the 5 other people was umm... I can't think of his name... but he was the only other gay guy to be found in the str8 bar, so that was interesting. I think he wanted me to go home with him, but nooo... just nooo... it was fun and all... but NO. Also Emilees friend Jodie was there and she is AWESOME... I love that girl already! So, im hoping to hang out iwth her again soon. She seemed to be on my level, which is hard to do. She even laughs at my jokes ;)

Wednesday I slept beautifully pretty much until 4pm when Brendan and Jayson took off to go to Jayson's moms house. They said goodbye and I got up... just to lay around until 5:30 when I went to dinner with my grandparents... they are always good company when everyone else leaves town. I got home a few hours later (after practicing the organ at church) and put up the Christmas tree... I was still working on it when Ty and Brian came over. Brian helped with the tree... which is charming... little bit ghetto... but charming. It was fun. Ty is convinced though, that something is going on with me and Brian... which definitely isn't. Don't get me wrong... I like Brian, I think hes funny, I enjoy his company. Anything beyond that Ty is making up... as harsh as that sounds... its true.

Thursday--- Thanksgiving. I ended up sleepign on the couch since I had work at the church at 9, which went FABULOUSLY. Janice was the organist and I love singing with her- she did my senior recital, too. This time, I wasn't paying her $300 so that made it even more charming. I keep enlisting little old ladies in my fan club... they go on and on to me. The priest hates it. It makes me laugh... Fun times to be had by all at the church. We had muffins and coffee with them afterward.

Then I slept... then i went to my moms family for dinner... it was fun as always... good wine, good conversation. My family should be a sitcom... they're hysterical! The combination of my grandparents, me and my mother (and the occasional outburst from Danielle or Zack) are just too fun.

Off to Franklin for the other side of the family, which I was dreading but turned out well. More good food... My grandparents had ALL of the small children in their family there... all 5. My great aunt's grandchildren. They were completely wild... and reminded me why Im not having any of those anytime soon! I kept asking things like, are they always like this? Some txt messaging made the experience somewhat brighter... Thanks to those of you who txted with me... They got to hear all about my latest crush... Joey Harrington from Detroit (umm, he plays professional football for my heteroimpaired friends) and is HOT... mmmm

Enough about him... Joel is probably jealous already! hehehe *mischevious look*

So my moms house... i stayed there Thursday and Friday nights... She has so much fun stuff now..> DSL, XM radio, hot tub, bose sound system... that was fun.

Time at my moms makes me reflective, so I did a lot of self reflection over the weekend at her house. Things aren't really peachy with some things in my life right now, and it was nice to be at a place to think about it and soak in hot water while watching the first major snowstorm of the year. Overall, things really are pretty good for me right now... they're rapidly plateauing though... signaling the end of Clarion and Western Pennsylvania for me i think. Its time for something new. Joel and I have had some... heated... conversation lately about this... He graduates soon, and "doesn't know what he wants" or if "our relationship is worth it if we're not going to be togheter" I can't blame him for being confused. He has 3 weeks to plan his future. I don't want to burden that, I don't even share my opinions... I'll find out where things fall and pick up from there. But, ultimately, the fact remains that we have to think of our careers more than eachother right now, and it might NOT be worth it to add that into the mix... It depends on a lot and its something we have to talk over and work out together. Hes been distant... we ignore it... its taking a toll on me. I don't know whether to distance myself emotionally from him (if i haven't already a little) or try to go see him soon or what... I don't want to push too hard nor do I want to seem like I don't care. I don't know. Its so frustrating because I'm in love with him. If I weren't it wouldn't matter, but I am... I hope things get better.

I saw Andrea Friday night and drove home through blizzard conditions... it was scary to say the least! Converstion with Joel was a bit brighter... luckily. I miss him to death.

Saturday I visited relatives in Slippery Rock... Its always fun haging out iwth my grandparents and my grandmothers sister (amounting to four college professors) then my mom and her cousin Susie... then me. Its quite intellectual. We talked about the usual... my future plans, etc etc... and lots of interesting stuff along the way. I wish conversations with friends could be as such as well. I got back to clarion and began on cleaning (didn't finish that) and homework... I got lots done thank god...

Repeat Wednesday night then after that... Ty and Brian... EatnPark, TV... Things were ok... though ty is still convinced somethign is up with Brian... I wish he would get off that. Grr.

Sunday... church... work... Joel called at 4 this morning on his way home... i was too out of it to talk much but it was nice to hear his voice... more homework after lunch with grandma then to work at the library
one bright note: Kristen Staub from SRU called me and she thinking of transferring to clarion for next sememster... that would be AWESOME :) :) I love Kristen... we met at Cedar Point... we were the odd ball supervisors- she was cotton candy sup and I was Patio so neither of us had a real location... tehe... we had so much fun goofing off..... i mean... checking out the cotton candy locations... tehe I do miss a few of my Cedar Point memories....

So that brings you up to speed on my life... The end of the semester rush is on and Im getting plenty done... I also have Christmas at the church. I can't wait until December 26th at this point... because no matter how things turn out between now and then with all the aspects of my life, then I can finally stop and breathe.

Rob