What a week!

Finally time to update my journal! Its currently cold and snowy and kinda depressing in Clarion so what better is there to do? Just to catch up on the week, the drag show was lots of fun (it was the first ive seen) Bob and I were standing in Pegasus and who should walk up but Brian Schulze saying "i know this looks really bad but im here for the show..." Enough about him. I got to talk with Travis Tibolet for the first time in awhile... His mom is having surgery this weekend so I'm definitely thinking of her... (His mom is just awesome, by the way!) Anyway, Jeremy didn't bother coming down at all so it was just Bob, Ron and I... (they still haven't made up... :( )

Anyway, wednesday i had choir practice, and all the phone calls i made only got a couple more people... (thankfullY) So whatever... we will be fine for christmas and hopefully we can get more people after the busy season is over. *crosses fingers* Oh well... i get paid at least :)

Sooo wednesday night i hung out with Bob and Renee and that was fun... the lack of sleep just made me rather emotional... because when i dropped bob off i kinda was tearing up... Hes only headed back to Philly for a week, but consider that we've spent practically the whole last week and a half together i feel kinda naked without him there... *shrugs* We really have had a blast from hanging out with mary to church choir practice to NYNY on monday and etc... he is a great friend and deserves a cookie or two :) I totally crashed wednesday night

Thursday... back to Pittsburgh I swear I should live there! I had another fun night... I went shopping with Em first at Ross Park and picked out some fun new clothes for me to myself for christmas :) I love Em. She kept running into people... like, i mean literally... So we walk up the escelator and she was looking up and totally ran over this guy with a cane! It was funny in that... "this shouldn't be funny" kind of way... but what was more funny was when she apoligized hes like "Well, I have balance problems so I fall ALL the time... people all rush over and see if im alright but i tell them i do it all the time!" I couldn't resist at this point so I'm just like... don't mess with this one... hes a professional! The other guy was when they were having a demonstration of a remote control helicopter, and just after I said "I will be so pissed off if that comes down and hits me" we hear this "CLUNK" above us so of course we look up... The helicopter didn't land on us but emilee plowed into the guy in front of her again... Just another classic moment... :) By teh time we got thru the mall we were late for meeting Brendan and other friends to go to the club... so i totally changed my entire outfit into new clothes while Em drove up McKnight Road. Pegs was fun- it was a BAD music night, but it was still good to be there... Im not sure when it happened, but i kinda think of my friends there as my family and its great to be around them... *sigh* (end emotional moment) I hung out wiht Brendan, Kenny, Julian (my friend who goes to school in Boston but i met him thru brendan and did i mention he is HOT?) Bonnie, Diana, Kelly, Kelly and others... good times :) Steven was a little drunky and totally made me laugh :) I love you Steve :) Ron danced with Julian, which made him a little uncomfortable... later hes like "who was that guy with the nipple piercings?... he was skinny as a stick! lol... Lalala so it was a good night :) Julian and I talked over food at eatnpark about getting married and living together forever... lol, he made a good date for the evening (well, more like pretend date, but it was still fun) We are both looking at University of Washington for our graduate work (ok, he wants to go there for med school, but whatever) which was kinda an interesting coincidence... lol... Jeremy was there tonight but he was kinda just off with phil...

Oh well... blah blah... im not saying anything interesting... So im going to stop talking about htat
Today was fun... I slept in at brendan's until like 1 and then Julian and I went shopping... I didn't make it to Ikea, but we did hit the mall again. I got my mom and dad gifts... now i just have to finish emilee, sara, and bob and im set. Brendan's mom got me a fleece from old navy, by the way... Shesss sooo sweet :) (its not often you get gifts from your exes mom) I came back after shopping with Julian (who, i might add, has impecable taste and is wonderful to have along for shopping- afterall he is a Jeans expert at the Gap) and hung out with Brendan. He mentioned that someone told him that I still liked him. Luckily he reads my journal and understood... and its still the same thing kinda. And also why im depressed tonight a little... the snow is soo pretty and fun to watch out the picture window of my apartment, but sigh... no one to cuddle with and watch the snow... Brendan was comfortable. We lived together... and at times like this i tend to look back on that and want THAT but not necessairly him. Besides, him and Kenny are the happiest couple ever and i wouldn't come between that. Brendan and I joked that we would marry rich doctors and businessmen and then live beside eachother and go out shopping all day and leave the kids with the nanny (not THE nanny... as fabulous as Fran Drescher is!) We would make perfect househusbands with our ed degrees... :)

Dinner with Bren and Kenny at TGI fridays... i love going out with my boyfriends :) Then back home to Clarion... i should just move to pittsburgh... im going back again tomorrow iwth the grandparents to do some shopping with them... they want to leave "early" so im heading for bed now.
A final thought... Brendan made the comment today "but you don't want a boyfriend do you?" For the first time i said yes and kind of meant it. Deep down, im happy on my own... sure there are moments but all in all, i like where i am.

However, i still kinda do. I don't know... lol. I don't just want a boyfriend though, or to date... im holding out for something more. Something special and if that finds me now, fine... if not, im not going to let it pass me by getting involved with anyone who doesn't really fit the bill...

Oh well... im an an enigma i guess... I need to sleep

Lyrics of today:
The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top
The snow is softly fallin'
The air is still within the silence of my room
I hear your voice softly callin'

If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you

If I could know within my heart
That you were lonely too
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim
The shades of night are liftin'
The mornin' light steals across my windowpane
Where webs of snow are driftin'

Current Music: "Passion" mix
Sarah Mclachlan and Jewel- Song for a Winter Night (new addition)
Tattle Tale- Glass Violin Cello Case
DJ Sammy and Yanou- Heaven Candlelight mix
Enya- Evening Falls
Merril Bainbridge- Julie
Couting Crows- Color Blind
Lauridsen- Dirait-on
Fiona Apple- Never is a Promise
Tori Amos- Winter
Richard Marx and Donna Lewis- Wonderful Journey

Yeah, its one of those nights
later