The Passing of another month

So, as usual, i'm pretty bi-polar this week.

Happy news...
I got my new car finally :) Monday i came home from school early and dealt with all the insurance and signing my life away to creditors and such. It was a great time... my pen ran out of ink :) For awhile i was starting to think that I would never get the thing because it seemed that nothing was falling into place. My whole family went out to see it over the weekend while i was at districts, and they all approve. Albiet, its a bit sporty for me, but what was i supposed to do, ask them to board up the moon roof? :) Its definitely the cutest car on the block :) I named him Sebastian. I've found a few slight problems... the biggest being a small stain in the trunk. Its like im not even driving at all, and the brakes work and everything... it'll be awhile before i get used to it, but i think i made a good choice and for the money it was a great deal. Not only did they take my old car as a trade in (very surprised), i got them below the blue book price on it even though its in practically perfect condition. The only caution i have is that the gadgets (seats, knobs, etc) tend to break easily, so i'll have to be careful when im having sex in the back seat... but otherwise, its a BEAUTIFUL car...
Heres a picture (just picture a hot skinny gay boy driving it)





Sad news...
I'm depressed even with a new shiny car... I'm not sure why.... I think Ken and I are gonna go watch depressing movies and eat Ben n Jerrys... I feel misplaced, and alone no matter how many people i surround myself with. The thing is... im not really sad in general, just a few moments, here and there, that i feel like im lost. I miss having the security of a boyfriend but i don't miss the drama and the fact that all gay men do is use eachother. I don't know of one healthy gay relationship save for maybe brendan and jayson, but even thats almost a stretch, and there are definitely no others. Im out of the drama loop but i still hear about it and all the boyfriend hopping... I don't want any part of that anymore... its certainly not a healthy way to build a relationship. A not so wise person once said "once a cheater, always a cheater". That unwise person doesn't even take his own advice. Thats destructive...

I know there must be some decent boys out there, just none in my zip code... except for maybe one...

ok

true confessions

i have a crush on someone

but... i don't think he likes me

shh
don't tell...

oh well

later
robbie