New beginnings...

Well, in classic style, i think its about time for a reflective post. As this week celebrated my 21st birthday, in many ways its the beginning of a new part of my life as a twenty-something. Its not even necessairly this specific date, but theres been a shift from one season of my life to another in recent times. When I think of who I was even just a few months ago, I can barely recognize myself now in comparison. My twentieth year was quite a big year in my life... I just read the entry from my journal from a year ago (yes... homos been journaling forever) and it was mostly about the semester beginning and Brendan and I. So much has changed. my 19th year was spent totally with the same person... then this past year, I had a total of four boyfriends... First there was Brendan... ending in February. Then there was Travis Tibolet, followed by my summer with Jayson, and the very latest being Tyler but he was way after all of that... I learned a lot about guys and a lot about myself through all of that, especially the phase after Brendan and being a newbie all over again, getting into the gay scene after being practically married. A lot of boys touched my life this year (and my penis, for that matter) and I learned a bit from every one. It was an exploratory year for me and relationships... and I think I know a lot more about myself and what I am really looking for in life and in someone to be with. Without the (sometimes regrettable) things I did this year, I wouldn't have a clue still and think that I do. I also realized that I can be complete without someone to complete me- I can make it on my own. As much as I love having someone and as much as it sucked to be alone, I can survive and learn regardless, and being single is not the end of the world. And, as things turned out, it was worth the wait, since the end of the year brought the addition of a beautiful boyfriend to my life who I am really enjoying getting to know and being with. I almost forgot how much i missed that...

Other than boys, the greatest friends in the world have come and gone over the past year... My main core of friends kind of drifted all in different directions, a lot of that is attributed to the great breakup of Brendan and I (we were an institution, afterall) compounded with a lot of other things. Sara became my best friend during the year, and much later, Brendan did as well... We eventually got along very well and still do. And things changed even more through the summer and fall, with the addition of Bob to my group of friends as well as Ron and Mary. All of whom, I didn't even really know that well a year ago. It was a long year of finding myself, and these people really shaped that journey a lot. I love the people in my life right now, and there will always be issues and friends coming and going, but I've managed to meet the best ones ever in the last year... The people in Brendan's, Bob's, and Sara's lives have also affected me... Brendans boyfriends (Brandon, Brian, Kenny) Sara's drama,... it was a hell of a year... and we're all still standing.

Healthwise it was probably one of the worst years ever between Tonsilitis in June (just after Grandma Evelyn passed away) to kidney problems in August... I'm hoping for a better year this time around for that.

I've lightened up a lot this year. I learned how to drink, party, club, and be random. Life was so structured before this year, and now its much more random. I can drink my weight in alcohol and hold my own... ;) Driving to and from pittsburgh at all hours of the morning is not an issue at all now... and I love to dance...

Anyway, This has really been a defining year in my life, with a lot of memories made, promises kept and broken, and many many hours spent having fun and actually living. And I feel kind of like I'm entering something new, coming up to the surface after the trials and learning experiences from last year. Ive begun my first professional job among other things... Am planning on getting a new car, and overall, I want to have fun and enjoy life without petty drama and without worrying about things that aren't worth it. I won't be afraid to love, to experience, to remember, to cry.... The journey has just started, and a new day has begun. Next week begins the new semester, a new period of my friends and i living our lives practically on top of eachother. New drama, new loves, new breakups, new pain... And I've never been so ready. And, I can't wait until next year at this time to look back and see what more I have learned about this amazing journey that we call life.

Ciao