real

Its been a rough week. I think I have too much time on my hands or something, but ive been really down. Its times like this I wonder why I bother. I realized (with the help of my roomate, who can manage to beat sense into me when everyone else fails) why tonight.

Every time I get to see Joel, its like the first kiss, all over again. The last time I'll never forget. My recital was just over and the reception had run its course. We were cleaning up and needed to get the flowers/flower stand off of the stage. Joel and I went up to get them together. We got onto the stage and it happened... That feeling of electricity, his body close to mine after longing for it for so long...

Thats why I bother
A long distance relationship is probably ten times harder than anything i've ever done.

Its also the most rewarding

It takes moments like this to realize how lucky I am, to celebrate the first kiss with someone time and time again. To finally put to rest the desires that have been raging since the last goodbye.

Yes, I'm lucky, yes its worth it
and yes, its the best feeling i've ever had.

I love you Joel